Resolutions are Tired. Stop Trending + Develop Goals That Matter to You. Not the Rest of the World.

By Patrice Perkins, January 05, 2012 - (1) Comments

Let’s chat.

I initially wanted to have this convo with you over Christmas Carols and Caramel Apple Cider (with extra caramel and whip), in front of a fireplace adorned with sparkly garlands and stockings. I even envisioned a pine scented candle glowing in the background, with Mariah Carey Christmas playing on Pandora.

Initially our conversation was going to go something like this...

Me: (with candy-caned striped socks stretched out across the sofa): *Sips...* Don’t you just love this time of year? It’s so relaxing. I can’t wait to start planning for 2012.

You: I know. I already started working on my New Year Resolutions. What are yours?

Scene: Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” starts to blast through the speakers. We rock back and forth, singing in perfect harmony...

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is...
YOU!!!!

It’s the perfect made-for-tv moment. You know?

You: Now what were you saying, about those New Years Resolutions?

Me: Oh yea, I think Resolutions are for losers.

Record Scratches. Music Stops.

Now this is when you start to re evaluate our friendship. You get all offended and pissy because you think I just called you a loser. After all, you have been working on those resolutions for the past six months. You finally have them perfectly crafted and here I am...

Being a scrooge. Messin’ with your holiday cheer.

So to avoid the awkward moment. The risked friendship and whatnot. I decided to let you have your time.

But now...

You sang. You rocked. You partied. You ate all you could eat.

Now...

Your back at work.

Your coworkers have pissed you off.

The dust has settled.

And your probably not feeling as We Are The World-Ish.

And this my friend, is when I can leap in with a moment of bitter truth.

Resolutions are for Losers.

I’m not saying I’ve never done it. I’ve been on that glittery band wagon straight to nowhere.

Prime example...

For years I would say...I Resolve to (is that even correct...) Join a Gym. Armed with my new gym membership and workout gear...I was right there at L.A. Fitness with the rest of ya’ll. Until February 1st... Same thing, different year.

Then I realized. Going to the gym doesn’t work for me. I don’t like being in close quarters with a bunch of sweaty people. I don’t like using machines that have been drenched in Stranger Sweat. Hell, I don’t even like getting in my car to go do something that I’m not all that crazy about doing.

But, I will take a nice walk or jog along the lake.

I will attend a yoga class or two.

I will work out at home with my own shit and Exercise TV.

Those things work for me.

So, when I say Resolutions are For Losers it’s because usually they are based on what excites the status quo. What was in the shiniest magazine ad...

This year, do something different.

Develop realistic goals. This year I decided that I am going to workout more than I did last year, and find a routine that can fit in my current lifestyle. Yea, I know...it doesn’t sound as cute and snappy...but its attainable for me.

Instead of saying I am going to expand my business. I developed a list of actual projects and target dates.

Instead of saying I want to be a better daughter, sister and friend. I developed a list of actual things I can do to make myself more available.